Psalm writing

Mike and I have been going through Redemption Group at Soma. It's been an intense month so far, to say the least. There's a ton I could say about the work that God is doing in my heart, but this blog is not the place for that. At least not right now. One assignment we have in the group is to write a Psalm. I've wavered between excitement and trepidation over this project. In the end, though, it just sort of poured out of me last week after group. I'm pretty sure this isn't the only one waiting in the wings, but it may be the only one I ever share, at least in this forum. At any rate, here it is.

My sin is like cancer.
It distorts the miracle of Your creation.
A malignancy that seems invisible and hidden at first.
It dampens my appetite so that I lose my hunger for truth.

My sin eats away my flesh until I cannot recognize myself.
It fills my lungs so that I cannot breathe.
It forces me to see the death that is coming for me.
A death I deserve, for this is my sin. My guilt. My shame.

I am wasting away.

How did I go from being faithful to being hopeless?
When did I stop listening to your voice?
Why did I stop trusting in you to provide?
Why is my heart so hard?

I refused to listen to your Spirit,
Abandoned the truth in your Word.
I neglected to meet you in prayer,
Deemed you unworthy of my trust.

I rebelled against you,
Placed others above your Name
I despised the sacrifice you made for me,
Tried furiously to save myself.

But you are my hope
You are never silent.
You provide for my every need.
Your sacrifice was enough.

You tear down the wall that separates my heart from you.
You are faithful when I am faithless.
You grieve with me in my sadness.
You are my Savior.

Show me how my sin is against you.
Uncover my idols, my pride, my rebellion, my unbelief.
Reveal the darkness of my offenses.
Then burn them away until all I see is you.

Send your Spirit to heal my brokenness.
Make me hunger for your presence again.
Mold my ruined flesh into the image of your Son.
Fill my lungs with your breath of life.

Let my heart beat again with your unfailing love
Save me from the death I deserve.
Restore my voice to speak your Name
The boldness to shout, “My God has saved me!”