Are you kidding?

So this afternoon the neighbor kid got into her dad's truck and drove it forward into our rental truck. Seriously. She's 12. She was with a friend and they both took off but Mike saw the whole thing. He went straight to their apartment and laid into them both. Their mom pulled her usual "It's not my fault, I didn't know they were out there, I can't control them, I told them to stop hours ago, what do you want ME to do about it?" BS.

The damage to the truck isn't THAT bad, and if it was the van, we'd come up with some way for them to compensate and move on with life, trying to use it as an opportunity for grace and forgiveness. But it's not our van, it's the rental truck, and we will probably be charged for the damage, which makes it more difficult.

Just some background, this girl's mom has serious issues with alcohol dependency and negligence toward her children. She believes in God, but is not following Him at this time. Her kids run rampant throughout the neighborhood, except for the oldest daughter, who is significantly developmentally disabled and never leaves the apartment. Her dogs also run all over the neighborhood, and until recently, there were 15-20 other various people in and out of her apartment at all hours of the day and night. We've had to call the police more than once. I've made some progress in getting to know her and praying with her. Thus far she has persisted in her attitude that nothing in her life is under her control, everything is bad and it's all someone else's fault.

My question is, how do I bring the gospel into this situation? Christ teaches us to have mercy and be forgiving, as God is merciful and forgiving. But he also requires us to take responsibility for our actions. Sin has consequences, I have experienced them. This girl is 12 and has no parent willing to guide her in this world. Her mother has thrown up her hands and decided life is too hard. She sleeps all day and pays little attention to the kids. There are no consequences in their household. If I just say, "No problem, we'll take care of it," am I doing her any favors? I don't think so.

I'm looking for ideas - real ones. I really believe this is an opportunity to live out the gospel with this family. I just don't know how. If you've got ideas, or if you're willing to pray with us for some - let me know.

140 days, 19 hrs, 51 mins, 00 secs

My kids are so adorable! I love this photo.

I have a countdown to graduation on my facebook page (under boxes). 140 days still seems like a lot, but 4 months and 3 weeks doesn't. It's flying by as I expected. We're already heading into week four of this quarter and it seems like New Year's Day was yesterday! The rapidly passing time has a side effect, though. It's really hard to get all of my homework done. With only one day of class per week, you'd think I'd have no problems. But throw in two days of clinical, two nights of work, 12-24 hours of homework, my family and all of their schedules, along with everything else I've got my fingers into, and you've got a real problem. My facebook addiction has got to go or I'll never make it!

One of the hilarious things about nursing school is how you start to overreact to everything your body tells you. This happens to medical students, too. A headache becomes a brain tumor, chest pain is always a heart attack, and every time my kids get a stomach ache I worry it's appendicitis. Half the students in my class are undergoing diagnostic testing for one condition or another, and while some of them will turn out to be quite real, the majority turn out to be simple anxiety caused by too much information.

This week we studied Alzheimer Disease, dementia & delirium. Fun stuff. If I start asking you to spell words backwards, I'm really checking to see if your brain still works. This coming week is stress & anxiety. Since I start clinical this week in the mental health unit, AND I have two papers due on Thursday, AND I go back to work Thursday night after 3 weeks off, I'm sure I'll be asking for a prescription for Paxil by the time I get off Saturday morning!

It's just the inconvenience of it all

I think it was about 4:55 am when I woke to the sound of metal crunching, then an engine revving, more crunching, more revving, one last crunch before the sputtering off down the street. "What the heck was that?" I asked my sleeping husband, who of course hadn't heard a thing. He looked out the window and came back to bed, muttering, "I don't see anything."

Twenty minutes later the Tacoma police rang our doorbell to let us know our van had been hit, along with the neighbor's car. To give my husband credit, you really couldn't see anything unusual from our window in the foggy darkness. A woman delivering newspapers had seen the whole thing and gotten the license plate of the industrial van that did it. Apparently he tried to squeeze between her car, which was stopped in the middle of the street, and our parked cars. He hit the neighbor's car, then hit ours. His mirror got hung up in our back side window so he threw it in reverse to get out, hitting the neighbor's car again before speeding off down the street.

The police had already contacted the registered owner of the van, who said he had sold it last month. They gave us a copy of their policy on hit-and-runs, which says they don't investigate unless there are injuries, damages over $5K, or an eyewitness account including license plate # and driver description. Since she hadn't seen the driver, chances are it won't be investigated further. But we are welcome to try to file a civil suit.

So, no justice. At least our insurance took care of everything right away. The van's been towed off to the body shop and they gave us a rental for up to a month. So aside from losing our morning to get everything squared away, life as normal has now continued. Of course, normal around here is always a little strange. But this is where we choose to live and really - these things can happen anywhere. As usual, it could have been so much worse.

Moving on

I feel the need to redeem my last blog.

Since then, I did get a day to clean my house. I love Christmas, but the tree was blocking what little light comes in these days and dropping needles everywhere. Time to move on! I don't love housework, but it made me happy to get things a little more under control. My mom even helped the kids clean their disaster of a living space. She's a brave woman! Now if I could just find a way to motivate them to keep it that way...

My job has driven me crazy over the break. Shortly after finals I went to full time and left the safety of orienting with a preceptor. I remember thinking during my orientation, "If it's this hard for both of us to get this done, how am I going to do this all by myself?" I've found that it's nearly impossible. I was signed up to work all weekend before starting classes today. God must have had mercy, because I was pulled to be a 1:1 assistant instead of taking care of the whole quad. Normally this is no fun whatsoever, but I had a particularly amazing patient and the best two days of work so far. I was actually smiling when I came home last night. Usually I just want to collapse.

Today and tomorrow I have 5th quarter orientation. We're studying mental health and long term care, along with death and dying. It looks tough. I think I'm a school junkie, though, because even though I'm one of the worst procrastinators on the planet, I love making lists of tasks that I get to put off later. And I love the way time goes into overdrive over the course of the quarter. This is my last quarter of full time classes. Next quarter is my preceptorship, then graduation day and the NCLEX exam.

I had the house to myself for a few hours this afternoon and realized how much I missed that time to mentally and physically put my world in order. The last time I was home alone was December 22nd, and I was frantically trying to complete and procure Christmas gifts. So this afternoon was like a long sigh of relief. I'm sure things will be fairly chaotic as usual around here, but getting back into the routine is soothing. I am hopeful, for the first time in awhile, that there will be more joy in the days to come.

New Years update

It's a brand new year. The days are getting longer. In a few days I will start my final quarter of classes before my preceptorship. Winter break is wrapping up, the kids are getting ready to see their classmates again after an extended vacation, and the snow has melted, hopefully for good.

I haven't blogged in weeks because my crazy life finally caught up with me. Long hours at a job I'm not sure anyone can realistically do, days and days with extended family, snow days, cold days, shopping days, sewing days, cooking days, laundry days - everything but cleaning days. I've had moments of joy with my family, overshadowed by overwhelming despair and gloominess. I've barely seen my friends, which is probably a good thing, since I'm not much fun to be around at the moment. My friends would call me dark and gloomy, and my verbal filters are not cranked up to healthy social levels.

These things are temporary, and this time will pass, as they all do. Just cleaning up the Christmas decorations and rearranging the furniture made me feel better today. Along with a Starbucks espresso truffle, a new wool coat, and a few moments stolen tonight with people who love me even when I'm losing my mind. The days will get longer, the routines will be reinstated, the gloominess will lift. It always does. By next week I'll be too wrapped up in homework to remember to be sad. Then it will be February, and March, with all my favorite things- green grass, sunshine, flowers, and spring break. It seems so far away, but I know it will be here before I know it. Thank God!